Friends are blessings that not everyone gets

Friends make your life beautiful. They stay by your side all the time. When you’re having a rough time, friends cheer you up. You make precious memories with friends. All the secrets, meaningless or valuable talks, you do with friends. They’re the siblings that god didn’t give. They’re the family you chose for yourself. But not everyone is lucky enough to have friends.

The number of friends I have is equal to the number of girlfriends I have/had.

To be honest, I do have friends, a lot of ‘em, yet I’ve no friends. It depends on how one define friendship. If talk about having someone to talk with, hangout with, share things with, sit next to with, chat with, then I might have hundreds of friends. I have many many friends from around the world. But at the same time, I have zero friends. In situations I might say I have friends, or ‘he/she’ is my friend, but deep down I’d never count any of the people I know so far as my friend. I was never sportive, never loved school, was always awkward in situations, but I was also very social and talkative around people I felt comfortable with. Nobody could stop me from braggin’ unnecessary, meaningless stuffs. Everyone around me was my friend. Grew up gettin’ bullied a lot. Both verbally and physically. Even though I got physically bullied very badly, the verbal bullies hurt me more. At a certain point the kid didn’t care anymore about anyone. The kid who couldn’t breath without letting everyone know what he was thinking, or what someone else told him, or anything else, he learnt to keep everything to himself. I have no complain against anyone in this world. I don’t hate anyone very easily, don’t get offended easily. It hurt me more to see my whom-I-thought-were-my-best-friends watched me getting beaten up by someone in front of them where I had no fault.

I’m probably lying to myself, I do have friends, a lot of them. They love & support me, cheers for me and makes fun of me. We do lots of stupid things together. Its just that deep down, sometimes, during some of those sleepless nights, during afternoon when all the kids are playing cricket while I just walk around the streets, during times when I’m feeling down, it does feel a bit empty.

When I try to think about one person to text or call as a friend, no one pops on my head. No one texts/calls me even though I left them for my exchange year. I don’t care about anyone, and it works both ways. When I say deep down I’d never count any one in this world as my friend, it doesn’t mean I’d not help them in need. I’ve always helped anyone and everyone I could when needed.

My only friend was the man in the moon And even sometimes he would go away, too